So…I got a therapist. Haha, I don’t know why I’m laughing, but hey, its helping…kinda? Basically this is how the sessions went:

#1: talk about my triggers
#2: rant about my family
#3: work on focusing on the present

After the second session I was fed up. I was frustrated why my therapist wasn’t telling me to live in the present she just sat there, took notes, and listened. As soon as that thought hit me I was like, “Wait, I know what I have to do…” So yeah before session 3 I had begun to actually live my life. I felt so happy for a week straight nothing could bring me down. I even decided to see my therapist once every 2 weeks as opposed to once every week. Well of course my therapist was surprised and impressed but she didn’t think it’d last…I was determined to prove her wrong…she was kinda right. I left the office feeling like what if it doesn’t last?

Anyways, it was time for me to start acting out and stop hiding in my fears. Recently I decided to approach a boy I liked and of course things are all messy because he’s having an open relationship but we both know that we like each other. I’m having massive anxiety but I’m coping . I can’t believe I’m smiling. I’ve been hungry all day and tired because I dont’ want to eat too much otherwise if my anxiety gets worse I might vomit. 

Lastly, I’ve decided that I might not be doing sports durring the spring, because I’ve got an addiction to going to the gym. Its fun! Hahaha.

PS.

I’ve been re-reading this blog and I remembered one more thing! Ughhh there’s this STUPID boy whose trying to make me jealous and he’s failing miserably. He’s dating this girl (we’ll call her Lame) and Lame thinks she’s just oh so better than me now (we have a history, apparently we liked a different guy at the same time but she accused of stealing him even though he chose neither of us. She also took the liberty of showing me who my real friends were by telling them how evil I was and soon they turned their back on me). Anyways the point is She’s now dating this guy (his name shall be Jerk) and Jerk asked me out last year…he actually cornered me near the boys bathroom I was terrified a guy would come out and see me, I turned Jerk down because he was not my type at all. Of course Jerk had to be immature and take my rejection as a blow to the ego and now he hates me and is always trying to “get back” at me. So I guess he told Lame about me and Lame already hated me and now everytime they see me they try to act all happy and make out and hug. I even heard him telling her that I’m staring or I’m jealous or I’m pretending NOT to see them. UGH!!! I freaking SEE YOU, I GET IT, I DON’T CARE, I REJECTED YOU FOR A REASON! SHE DOESN’T MAKE ME JEALOUS, SHE’S NOT PRETTY, OR SMART, OR KIND. SO STOP GETTING IN MY WAY IN THE HALLWAYS AND LET ME WALK JEEZE! 

STUPID boy.